Cutting the cheese, a guilty pleasure

Today I was watching some television when I noticed a commercial for Velveeta. I'm not sure if it's food, food grade plastic, or cheese but I have to admit I like it. While growing up we had a specific container for Velveeta. Nothing is too good for our family. It had a special slide out tray and we would use a cheese slicer to lop of hunks of it for grilled cheese, melting, repairing water heaters, whatever.

I honestly make no bones about it that I truly thought Velveeta was cheese while growing up. I remained pretty clueless to the fact that an entire assortment of different textures and flavors of cheese awaited my adult pallet. It's pretty tasty stuff if you just give into the pure delight of whatever it is as well as the after shocks of your digestive system. I believe it may help me live a longer life. The classification of this type of "food" is in a category including Spam and Twinkies. I believe most of us have eaten these things although many would not admit to it. Seriously, a Spam and Velveeta grilled sandwich with a Twinkie for dessert. I could eat that.

Now, back to the commercial. They were showing ways to prepare Velveeta for melted dishes and an assortment of holiday favorites. They were cutting the cheese with a large knife in a very un-sticky fashion. I feel that this may be false advertising. Are you supposed to freeze the Velveeta before you cut it? How did they get that knife to come out so clean? I remember this sort of prep work differently. Now, a few questions.

When using Velveeta would your friends and family gather around laughing and exchanging holiday greetings or would they just stop and stare in horror as you cut the cheese and mangled it with your finger while pulling it away from the knife? Is Velveeta something to be savored or something to sneak into the potatoes quietly because you KNOW it will make them taste better? Does it REALLY cut as smoothly as the commercial suggests?

This year I vow to cut the cheese instead of using the slicer just to see if the commercial stands up for itself. I may even wait until my friends and family are around sharing a glass of wine or eggnog to cut the cheese. I believe the mere fact that the Kraft company felt it important to advertise someone cutting the cheese for the holiday's speaks for itself. I lobby for new slogan. "With Velveeta, you can really cut the cheese."